Guy Venables finds a rum that’s all the better for decanting, as it hides the face on the label

I have long been aware that the process of decanting wine into a decanter has many reasons. The un-knockable-over ship’s decanter for instance is suited to those of us of the arm-waving disposition when drunk or if you have a tall dog with a waggy tail and a low table.

When, years ago, I used to smoke, I’d decant my cigarettes into a cigarette case. Not only did it give me an air of panache (it was the 80s; everyone was awful) but nobody could tell that I was buying cheap packets of Embassy tens. In the same way I decant wine into a decanter not to aerate it but in order that nobody could see from the label that it is a bottle of red from the Tesco value ‘great with smoking’ range.

In this same vein, when I came to pour this particular batch of rum for my regular, disparate group of village lurkers who taste booze with me for this column (who often use such flowery language as “very nice” or “smooth”), I was pouring it in the kitchen without allowing them to see the label so that they wouldn’t recognize the face printed on the bottle. For it was the face of Ron Jeremy, one of the (ahem… apparently) most famous porn stars in the world. Starting a new career in rum making is one thing, but not only is putting your face on the bottle an act of enormous vanity, but a porn star’s face just gives off a very confusing message. We eat and drink with our eyes after all. Especially when this particular face is usually seen not with the… er… calm expression printed on the   bottle. Phew!

However after sipping the XO, Sam the grocer nodded far quicker than normal and jockey Chris managed an unusually verbose “really very good” (a wordcount normally only equalled when talking about horses) – and it was. It was dry and dark and powerful. To be drunk like a cognac. We then tasted the spiced rum
(I usually steer clear of spiced) and were surprised at its peppery complexity. We found the Reserva really very fine, clear, vanilla, nutty finish without too much sugar and perfect for mixing as it stands right in the middle. Top marks all round. All that’s needed is for Ron Jeremy to consider selling clear decanters with each bottle in which we can decant his rum and leave his face where…um… it belongs.

From Classic Sailor No5